LOS ANGELES, CA — FIFA announced Friday that for the first time in soccer history, nerds will not only be allowed to play the sport—they’ll have their own league.
Beginning on Monday, the organization will lift its ban on nerds, as well as introduce three new rules: (1) no physical contact, (2) when a goal is scored, the value shown on the polyhedral synthetic leather die will determine if the goal is valid, and (3) no casting vuvuzela missile at the darkness.
A few years ago, I sold my favorite car: a 93 Honda Accord. I hated selling him—not only because he was the “Black Pearl” of the Fourth Generation of Accords, but because he happens to be one of the most famous cars in America. I mean it: YOU ARE ABOUT TO BE AMAZED by all the times you’ve seen him in movies and TV shows and didn’t realize you were looking at my ’93 Honda Accord.
Here are screen captures from some of his greater moments on the screen (in no particular order other than comedic heightening):
Order up! 13 tracks, weighing in at just over 32 minutes, I give you my first solo album:
“The Very Last Songs I Will Ever Record (Part 1)”!
Click the link and START MEMORIZING IT NOW!