About Mike Phirman

Like many of you, my name is Mike. Each organ in my body evolved over millions of years to perform a very specific function, much like their cousin organisms in the ocean. Working together, we can't smell, but we can write a song.

“SONGS TO SING AT CHILDREN” – The Album!

After only EIGHT years of recording kid-friendly-but-not-required comedy music, I’ve finally completed the album. I hope you enjoy it and share with people! If there’s a kid nearby, please sit them in front of it (or behind it, if that’s more their speed) and enjoy their being occupied for a solid 35 minutes. That’s my promise to you: if you put this album on, then all things being equal, it will stay on for 35 minutes. Guaranteed.

Please enjoy “Songs to Sing at Children”! (credits below)

Lyrics can be found by clicking here and hovering over the track title

All songs written, produced, and performed by Mike Phirman

With…

YOU’VE GOT WHAT IT TAKES
Milo Phirman as “Kid Who, It Turns Out, Has What It Takes”

WHAT MAKES THE BREAKFAST
Additional Vocals by Angel Moore-Tanksley

ARMPITS
Additional Vocals by Dannah Phirman

BANANA SAID WHOOPS
Vocals by Dannah Phirman

IN YOUR BIZ
Dannah Phirman as Neighborhood Scientist
Paul Cherwick as Gardener
Danielle Schneider as Doctor
Eli Phirman as Little Marimbist

DANCE, LITTLE MEATBALL, DANCE
Additional Vocals by Diana Feria
Mixed by Justin Hergett

NEVER GONNA HAPPEN
Milo Phirman as Little Waffle Wanter

BABY IS GOING TO SLEEP
Eli Phirman as a baby as A Baby

USE YOUR IMAGINATION
Drums by Tony Thaxon
Drums recorded by Frankie Siragusa at theLAB Studio
Additional Vocals by Theresa Patten-Koeckert
Spanish Voiceover by Rafael Sigler
“Awesome!!” & “Alright!!” by Milo, Eli, Dannah, and Kate Micucci

HAVE YOU GOT WHAT IT TAKES? (INTERSTITIALS)
Rollie Cherwick (Doctor), Jenny Betts & Noelle Zodo (Park), Marcus Tanksley (Mall), and Marcus Tanksley Jr. (Rain)

Mastered by Patricia Sullivan at Bernie Grundman Mastering, Hollywood, CA

Album Cover by Little Friends of Printmaking

THANK YOU TO:
Dannah Phirman, without whom none of this (nor Milo nor Eli) would be here, Ma!, Dad, The Tanksley family, “Weird Al” Yankovic, My SiriusXM KIDS PLACE LIVE! family: Mindy Thomas + Kenny Curtis + Jack Foreman + Tori Kerr + Christina Piazza, Robbie Schaefer (for bringing me into the world of kid music), Billy, James, Cindy, and Izzy, Steve & Beth Callaghan, Chris Hardwick, Paul & Storm, Ben Acker, Todd Cooper, Kate Micucci, Riki Lindhome, Ken Marino, Andrew & Polly, Jason Charles Miller, John Ross Bowie and Jamie Denbo, Ken Plume, Ethan Ulman, Full Van Fun, and Graham Cochrane at recordingrevolution.com for upping my studio game

The Day – THE VIDEO!

Sitting in a hotel room in New York, decided to make a video for my song “The Day”

* I made this by slowing the song down to 1/4 speed, lip syncing to that, then speeding the footage up 4x speed, and putting the original track over it—all done on two phones (one for playback while the other films) using iMovie and Anytune Pro+. Fun! Weird! Try it!

Dance Song Lyrics

Let the rhythm take you
Let the rhythm move you
Let the rhythm borrow your car
Let the rhythm use your shower on Thursday afternoon so it doesn’t have to go all the way back across town before going to see “Hamilton”
Let the rhythm cut its own hair
Let the rhythm watch back-to-back episodes of NOVA
Let the rhythm explain something to you: the rhythm is not your maid, OK?

Let your spirit go
Let your spirit be free
Let your spirit park in a handicap spot
Let your spirit lose control of a truck and crash into a loading dock
Let your spirit eat one bite of everything in the pantry
Let your spirit off with a warning, but let it know that next time your spirit knocks over a public planter, it’s getting a citation

Let the music play
Let the music play with matches
Let the music play frisbee on the beach
Let the music play other music when it’s sick of itself
Let the music play Mass Effect at Justin’s this afternoon
Let the music play you for a fool
Let the music play Willy Loman in “Death of a Music”
Let the music play musical chairs, which it and its friends just calls “chairs”

[outro, fireworks, glass shatter, etc.]

Got What It Takes to Be a Kid? Take the QUIZ and find out!

What is the difference between a shirt and a napkin?

Two Handed Snake Test

A few days ago, I was messing around with my hands in the mirror (as grown adults do), and this little dude just crawled out. How could I not let him sing this?!

Song credits:
“Trust In Me (The Python’s Song)” from Disney’s “The Jungle Book”
Written by the great Robert & Richard Sherman
Performed by the also great Sterling Holloway